Secrets
by SpokenWords07
Summary: Everyone has something they haven't told anyone. See where these secrets take these three people......
1. Chapter 1

I do not own any of the Avatar characters. This is a repost, I've got a beta reader now on my story so its going to be cleaner and better than the first post of it. Thanks to all my fans reading the story and special thanks to nikipinz, go read their stories too they are so good.

_Secrets_

_We all have them don't we? I mean, aren't we entitled to them? Or at least I thought we were._

_We all have secrets deep down inside, the secrets we don't even tell the person closest to us._

_You want to know the truth though? Secrets always come back to hurt someone. It's like a chisel slowly chipping away to make a statue of truth._

_I remember the day that my own secret was the cause of my own broken heart. You would think that my not even truly seeing it with my own eyes would ease the hurt. Yet, at that moment felt like I had never been blind at all._

_I'm standing in the snow, replaying the last conversation I had with her._

"You don't love me, do you?" she sobbed, on her knees. "Why won't you answer me?"

"I don't know, 'cause I don't have an answer for you," I stammered.

"We've been together for over two years, and you never even seemed to think about saying those words to me. I just don't understand! Am I not enough for you?" she choked out.

_The words are at the tip of my tongue; if I just say them, she'll stop hurting. _"It's hard. You know I want to be with you, and you're perfect for me, but I just need more time."

"Time? You want time? Well, why don't you just go take your time? Because I can't wait forever just to see if you love me. I love you so much, but I can only wait for so long, so I'll give your space and leave for awhile." She slowly got up from the ground.

"No. It's me, not you. You stay and I'll be back. I promise you I'll figure this out." I walked towards the door.

_She did say she would wait for me, I know I heard those words._

_And now I was more ready than I thought I'd ever be._

_I walked into my house. I knew she was asleep; I wanted to surprise her._

_With every step, I couldn't wait to have the vibrations give me a vision of her._

_I gripped the necklace I got her on my trip; I knew she'd love it._

_It would prove my love for her._

_I was right at the door and I saw her - but she wasn't alone._

_I dropped to the ground._

_I suddenly couldn't even think, because I couldn't believe it._

"No…no…no. I don't see this…'cause you love me, right? I'm dreaming – please, tell me I'm dreaming!" I pleaded.

_This can't be happening! She wouldn't – no, she couldn't do this to me. She loves me, right?_

But I felt her….

I felt her look at me.

I felt her run to me.

I felt her dropping down to my level, pleading to me.

I put the necklace in her hand and walked away.

I just felt so numb.

_I still feel numb, and that was a week ago._

_So I'm thinking you want to know my secret._

_It's not my fault._

_My father let him take it from me._

_I had my baby beaten from me._

_The only thing I think I could love was taken._

_My secret is that I don't know how to love._

_Isn't that ironic, since I just got my heart shattered._


	2. Chapter 2

_Secrets._

_What do I have to tell you anything for?_

_By any standard, I am one of the most powerful people in the world._

_My girlfriend expects us to be honest and express our feelings._

_She should know that I don't express feelings! She should be content that I'm with her._

_Something is tugging at me inside, but I don't know the cause of it._

_You see, I get tingles - or even butterflies! - when she's around._

_So I run away from these stupid feelings, so far away, and I try to bury them._

_What do I need feelings about my girlfriend for? Everyone already thinks I'm heartless._

_But here's my first secret. These tingles I get aren't for my girlfriend._

I kissed her.

"I missed you, it's been weeks," she murmured into the crook of my neck.

_Is it wrong for me to feel content right here with her and not with my girlfriend?_ "Weeks too long, if you ask me. I barely get to see you anymore," I said, rolling on top of her and looking down into her eyes.

She turned her face aside and sighed. "It's hard, you know that. We both have responsibilities in the world. Mine are here, and yours are…well, _there."_

I took her face into my hands and kissed her passionately. She just did that to me. I couldn't get enough of her - the feeling she gave me was just irresistible.

Something was different about her eyes, though. Usually they were filled with passion and excitement. Her whole demeanor seemed distant, like she was pulling away from me.

She broke the kiss and I looked down at her, tearing up. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I…this has to be the last time we're together like this. I can't keep doing this to them," she said, tears beginning to stream down her face.

_She can't do this. I won't let her do this to me! I need her like she needs me, why would she want to stop this?_

"We're both hurting the people we're with, and it's eating me apart. They both deserve to have us fully, and not just pieces," she said softly.

I shook my head furiously. "No. No, I won't. No! I can't just let it end like this."

She grabbed my face abruptly and kissed me. Clothes came off, piece by piece. She was taking her time with me. It was so gentle and mind-blowing!

My fingers were buried deep inside of her. I heard nothing but her soft murmurs in my ear as I laid kisses on her neck. She was clawing my back, begging for more each time I pumped into her.

I suddenly heard footsteps. _It can't be! Her lover isn't supposed to be back for days! _I stopped and looked down at her, and she pushed me off her.

"No…no…no. I don't see this…'cause you love me, right? I'm dreaming – please, tell me I'm dreaming!" her lover pleaded, dropping to the ground.

She pushed me off and ran to her, pleading. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry, she doesn't mean anything to me! Please don't leave me. I love you and I can't live without you…I need you, you're the reason I want to live!"

Her lover was calm. She placed something in her hand and just left. I walked over to where she lay sobbing on the ground and tried to touch her.

She slapped my hands away. "Don't. Just leave."

I looked down at her and asked, "Do I really mean nothing to you?"

She met my gaze, and by the look in her eyes I could tell. I quickly gathered my things and left.

_I refuse to cry._

_Why should I?_

_She's not that important. I can get a thousand like her, right?_

_Wait, we're supposed to be being truthful right now._

_I have someone waiting for me back at home. Why am I getting bent out of shape over her? She was just a fling._

_I know why, though._

_My true secret is that I fell in love with her._


	3. Chapter 3

_Secrets._

_I'm not supposed to have them._

_I'm supposed to be the innocent one._

_I love her, I really do._

_I said it all the time, but she never said it back, and I wanted her to so badly it hurt._

_I yelled at her all the time about it, but I only did it to cover up my guilt._

_It was wrong of me. Trust me, I know._

_I hurt her because she hurt me. Would you call that an even trade?_

My lover had walked out the door, and I hadn't seen her for almost a week. _I think I finally got through to her! I almost got her to open up, even if it was just a little bit._

I was brought out of my thoughts by light feather kisses on my neck. _She_ turned me around and kissed me.

We fell onto the bed, and I put my lips against her neck, murmuring, "I missed you, it's been weeks."

She had a different look in her eyes. I knew immediately that this had been going on too long, and had to end tonight.

"Weeks too long, if you ask me. I barely get to see you anymore," she said, rolling on top of me and looking into my eyes.

_I have to tell her this is the last time. I can't keep lying and hurting her, because it's hurting my relationship! But I don't know how to say it… _"It's hard, you know that. We both have responsibilities in the world. Mine are here, and yours are…well, _there."_

She pulled me into a kiss that reminded me of why I kept going back to her. She had this hold on me. She gave me this amazing feeling that made my eyes roll back everything time we touched_. But I have to tell her. _I broke the kiss. She looked down at me."What's wrong?"

"I…this has to be the last time we're together like this. I can't keep doing this to them," I told her, with tears trickling down my face. _I like her, but I don't love her like I do my girlfriend. _"We're both hurting the people we're with, and it's eating me apart. They both deserve to have us fully, and not just pieces."

She looked down at me in disbelief. "No. No, I won't. No! I can't just let it end like this."

_I can't believe I'm breaking her heart like I do my own lover's_! I couldn't take it so I kissed her. I let her have me one last time.

I was lost in the sensations she was giving me. I was just trying to take all of her in. Suddenly she just stopped, and I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes in time to watch the love of my life feel the vibrations of me and another woman in our bed.

I pushed her off of me and ran to the door. My lover dropped to her knees, already shattering. "No…no…no. I don't see this…'cause you love me, right? I'm dreaming – please, tell me I'm dreaming!" she pleaded with me, the same way I had pleaded with her only days earlier.

I fell to the ground and begged to her."I'm sorry…I'm sorry, she doesn't mean anything to me! Please don't leave me. I love you and I can't live without you…I need you, you're the reason I want to live!"

She just sat there, not saying a word, staring sightlessly at the ground. Then she moved. She silently took my hand, pressing something into it; then she got up and walked out of our house. I looked down at my hand and saw a necklace exactly like my mother's, except that a different symbol was carved into the pendant.

I just cried. Then I felt a hand on me; I slapped it away. "Don't. Just leave." _I can't handle all of this right now._

I heard her quiet voice._ "_Do I really mean nothing to you?"_ How could she ask me that right now? _I looked up at her and saw her heart breaking_._

_I'm a piece of work, aren't I?_

_I didn't only break one heart – I broke two._

_You know what hurts the most, though? I just wanted to be loved by one._

"_Be patient and love will come to you." Isn't that what they say?_

_It came to me. She had finally given me her heart, and I had wanted it so badly._

_Want to know my secrets? You already know one._

_I'm a cheater, but that's not even the big one._

_I got a visit from Yue last week, and I'm doing her a favor._

_I'm carrying the next Avatar._

_So I'm pregnant._


	4. Chapter 4

I'm standing her on this boat going to the other side of the planet

_I should hate her. She broke me worse than anyone could ever possibly do. Yet I can't stop thinking about her..._

When I left her the first time, I decided to take a trip. There I was, standing by this boat that's going to the other side of the planet.

"_Gods, how could I been so stupid?"_ I thought. "_Now I've hurt Katara. I have to fix this. I have to show her that I really do love her and our relationship is not just one-sided_." Just as I was getting on the boat to go to the South Pole, a servant stopped me.

"General Bei Fong," he called, running to try to catch me before I got on the boat.

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"King Bumi requested to talk to you before you go to the southern water country," he said, out of breath.

I walked back to the palace where the King was waiting for me. "Ah, Toph! I'm glad I was able to catch you before you left. I have a question for you," King Bumi said.

"And what might that be, Bumi?" I said, eyeing him. I knew he was up to something.

"Now, before you answer this, I want you to think about it for awhile. Toph, you're one of the most trusted people in my council, and the second strongest to me. You are levelheaded. And you know I'm not getting any younger." He paused, watching me keenly. "I want you to be my successor in ruling the Earth Kingdom."

I looked up at King Bumi in shock. "I, uh….Bumi, I don't know what to say."

King Bumi laughed at me. "That's what I expected, Toph. I didn't expect you to know right now. When you come back from your trip to the South Pole, let me how you feel."

"Ok, I will."

I was still in shock when I finally boarded my ship.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

We had finally landed. It was scary. This was the first time I'd been to the South Pole and I didn't have Tara! I was greeted by one of their other ambassadors. "General Bei Fong, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Let's get you settled down in town," he said, bowing.

"Yes, Ambassador, it's been a long ride on the boat. And could you also show me to a meditation spot?"

"Yes, yes, of course, General. We are very glad that you were able to make it. The meetings start tomorrow."

I had a meeting in the morning, with all of the South Pole officials, about diplomatic ties with the Earth Kingdom. I couldn't really tell you exactly what they said, because my mind was nowhere near anything they were saying.

I was finally able to leave the meeting and go to the meditation spot. I sat down and crossed my legs and just cleared my mind of everything for over an hour. Then I got up and started to bend. I brought the earth up from under the snow and I kept bending with a force I never knew I had.

I heard someone approach me from behind. "Why are you so angry?"

I turn around to see a teenaged girl. "I'm not angry, just releasing energy." I paused. "What's your name?"

She played with her fingers and looked up. "It's Mia."

A lot of waterbenders are short, and I saw that she was no exception. "That's a nice name. Now why would you be out here?" I got down on one knee as I spoke, so as to be on her level.

"I wanted to meet the Blind Bandit, and they said you were out here." She blushed awkwardly. "But maybe I should leave you to your bending."

"No. Don't leave. I could use some company." I sat down and patted the ground for her to sit next to me.

"So what's wrong? How come you're – uh –' releasing energy?'" she asked, looking up at me.

"I hurt someone I care for a lot, and it's hard for me to fix it."

"Who is it?"

"You might know her. She was from here. Her name is Katara."

"Yeah, I know Katara! She's the best girl waterbender ever. I want to be just like her someday," Mia said, her eyes lighting up. "How did you hurt her, though?"

"How old are you, Mia?"

"I'm nearly sixteen, why do you ask?"

"Have you ever been in love with anyone?"

"Yes, I have a boyfriend. He's so sweet, and I love him a lot," she replied quietly. "Do you love Katara?"

"That's actually the problem. I'm scared to tell her that." I sighed. "Every time I've loved someone or something, it's been taken from me. If I tell her I love her, then I might lose her, too" I said, with the same quietness.

"You know, I think you should just tell her that. Katara is very understanding. Also, bring her back something that shows you really love her. I'm sure she feels alone right now, and misses you," Mia said, getting up.

"Yeah, I think you're right. Do you think you could take me to Katara's house, please?"

"Of course, Toph. One condition, though. My boyfriend loves you. I'm sure he would love an autograph," Mia said as we started walking.

I scratched my head. "Duh! I can do that. Who would want to pass up the Blind Bandit's autograph?" We both laughed.

I soon arrived at Katara's hut. I was greeted by her father, Hakoda. "It's good to see you again, Toph. Where might my daughter be?"

"She's still in the Earth Kingdom. I came here alone on business," I said, bowing to him.

"Ah. Ok, good…what brings you all the way down here?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, Hakoda, you know Katara and I have been together for a long time. I know she's the one for me. I love your daughter very much and I would do anything for her. She's my reason to wake up for a new day knowing it's going to be spent with her. I want to start a family and to grow old with only her. So I'm asking - may I have your daughter's hand in marriage?"

"Wow, it sounds like you've been thinking about that for a while, Toph." He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling as he teased me. "You put a smile on my daughter's face better than anyone else I've seen. I trust that you will take good care of my daughter and keep her happy, so you have my blessing." Hakoda's smile grew. "Welcome to the family, Toph."

I started grinning. "Thank you so much, Hakoda! You don't know how much this means to me."

The rest of my stay at the South Pole went exceptionally well. Hakoda and I spent a lot of time getting to know each other better. The meetings were boring, of course, but Iguessed I was going to have to get used to them; I had made my decision to become Bumi's successor to the throne of the Earth Kingdom.

I made Katara a new necklace to wear. It had the sign of the Water Tribes on one side and the Earth Kingdom on the other, the two symbols melting into each other. I thought she would love it. It represented the two of us coming together as one.

_To think that was only two week ago! I was going to ask Katara to marry me. And now I can't even think about her without this horrible, crushing pain._


	5. Chapter 5

I was putting on my robes again when I felt a tug on my arm. I looked down at the girl in confusion. _Doesn't she know this is just a one-time thing?_

"You're leaving already? Can't you stay for a while?" she pleaded softly.

"No. You should have known this was a one-time thing. Nothing special, just a quick fuck." I tied my belt briskly.

"But I…"

I cut her off. "But nothing. I can have any girl I want, and you're just the one I wanted for tonight. Nothing else. So I'm leaving." I turned and walked out the door.

I walked out of her house and made my way back to the palace.

_That's the fourth girl I've been with this week, besides my girlfriend. I know she knows that I cheat on her constantly, yet she sits with this content and caring face every time I come home from a different girl. I don't understand why she does it. I mean, I know I'm great and all, but even I can admit that I don't treat her right._

I walked into the palace and saw Zuko waiting for me. I wondered what he wanted to talk about now.

"Zula, where have you been?" he asked, motioning me into one of the rooms.

I closed the door behind us and sighed. "Zuko, you know where I've been. Don't be an idiot."

"I don't know why you continue to be with Ty Lee if you're just going to keep hurting her. She cries to Mai whenever you're gone, and I have listen to it." His voice raised slightly.

"Ok, first of all, I have no damn clue why you're raising your voice. Second, stay out of my damn business. I'll treat her however I want to treat her - she's mine. I don't need your damn advice." I curled my lip and stared him down, waiting for the inevitable pointless answer.

He narrowed his eyes at me. Then he opened the door, pausing before he left. "Azula, one day you're going to end up alone, and it'll be nobody's fault but your own."

_He's a moron. I'm Azula I can have anything and anyone I want._ I headed to my room and saw Ty Lee asleep in bed, as usual.

I discarded my robes and slipped into my side of the bed. I felt Ty Lee turn over. She moved to my side to drape her arm around me. I felt her lean in to whisper in my ear. "Zula, I missed you today. I'm so glad you're home."

I grunted and shook her arm off me. "Hmmm. From what Zuko and Mai told me, you sure did."

She tried to get close to me and I sat up, then got out of bed. "So, am I that bad to you, that you cry like a little baby?"

_Of course she would start crying._ I watched in disgust as big tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I…I just want you to love me like you love the waterbender. I want you to hold my hand and take me out to dinner. Kiss me like you mean it and not like it's some chore you have to do! What's wrong with me? Tell me so I can change and make you love me like I love you!" She was sobbing uncontrollably now.

I snarled and got in her face. _She knows nothing. How dare she!_ "Don't you ever talk about her. You don't know shit about what happened!"

"I saw you and her the last time she was here in the Fire Nation. I just wish it was me instead of her. You treat her like a goddess while I get the leftovers. Just tell me why, Azula!" she pleaded.

"You just stay out of it. If you don't want to be with me, just say the word. I'm not holding you back," I snapped, walking towards the door.

Just as I reached the door, I felt her grab my hand. "Zula, please don't leave me, I…I need you." I looked back into her eyes and saw pain. For a second, I actually felt bad. I shook off the feeling quickly, but I still let her pull me back toward the bed. "I'm sorry, Azula. I'm happy you're with me. Can we forget the whole thing? Just come back to bed. Please."

I got back in and I wrapped my arm around her. She let out a sigh, moving closer to me. She twined our fingers together and kissed my fingertips. I was starting to fall sleep when I felt her turn around and bury her fingers in my hair. Her breath was soft on my lips. Then she leaned in and gave me a long, lingering kiss. It deepened after a moment - she brought her hands to my face. I saw tears running down her cheeks. She kissed me again, one last time. "I love you. I love you so much, Azula."

I felt something in my stomach, then - something that only Katara usually did for me. I got butterflies from Ty Lee, and I actually liked it.

_Gods, what is happening to me…_


	6. Chapter 6

I lay there in our bed, hugging her pillow, trying to pretend that she was with me.

It had been two weeks - fourteen days since I'd seen Toph. I was going insane, and I had no one to blame but myself. I know she was staying at the palace but I couldn't find her - the people in the palace were covering for her.

_I just had to go and fuck up everything. And I'm supposed to be noble and honorable! All I proved is I'm a cheating whore who is going to have a baby by herself because she threw everything away._

_I wish I knew how to get Toph to take me back. I would do anything for that to happen! I know King Bumi knows where she is, and I'm going to go talk to him._

I finally got out of bed and looked at myself, and I looked horrible. My hair was all over the place, I had dark circles under my eyes, and I looked beyond stressed. I couldn't bear to look any longer.

_I'm going to find Toph and to talk to her - today. I don't know how much longer I can stand to be without her._

I arrived at the palace. I didn't bother to talk to any of the servants or soldiers - I went straight to the king. "King Bumi, may I have a word with you?" I asked him.

"Of course, Katara. How may I help you today?" he answered, sitting up in his chair.

"You know I've been looking for Toph. Please don't pretend you don't. I know you know where she is." I stopped, biting my lips. "I just want to talk to her. Please. I know I hurt her, but I want to fix it." I was starting to choke up. "Please, I just…I need her."

"Katara, I think Toph needs time to think right now. She has a lot on her plate between what's happened with you and becoming my successor. She's been training long hours every day since she came back from the South Pole," King Bumi said.

I was struck speechless for a minute. "Wait…what did Toph go to the South Pole for? And…she's going to be the next ruler of the Earth Kingdom?"

King Bumi scratched his head and sighed. "I know there were some meetings in the South Pole that Toph volunteered to attend. As for her being my successor, that's quite true. You know I'm getting old, and Toph is perfect for the job."

I heard a sound from the side of the room. A door slid open and I turned my head to see Toph standing there. "Bumi, you don't have to cover for me anymore." She looked at me coldly. "Katara, you can stop running around this palace like a madwoman. I'm here." I just stared at her, trying to form all the words I was thinking into some kind of a coherent sentence. "Speechless again, I see. Well, when you figure out whatever you want to say, don't go charging around the palace like a lunatic bothering everyone. Just come here.That is, if I even decide to listen to you." She added something under her breath, but I couldn't hear it.

She started to leave. In sudden panic, I called out to her. "Toph, can we please talk? Just let me explain!"

I was cut off as she spun around in a rage. "Talk. TALK! You want to talk now, after you betrayed me? That's awfully convenient for everyone, Katara. What are you going to say, huh? That you love me, or that you need me? All that bullshit that I don't believe right now? Because I loved you with all my heart. You thought I didn't because I didn't say three words! Well, guess what? Your three words don't mean shit to me right now. I was fucking going to ask you to marry me! Me, the girl you claimed didn't love you! So excuse me if I don't want to hear whatever shit you have to say right now." Her blind eyes blazed with fire. "You just need to get lost. I'll come to you when I'm good and ready to talk to you," There were tears on her face. Tears! Toph Bei Fong never cried.

"Toph…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I dropped to my knees as she turned to leave.

She paused on the threshold. "Me too…me too, Katara." Then she was gone.

I didn't know what to do. _"She doesn't love me anymore…I didn't even know she loved_ _me. I'm just a big fuck-up_!" I thought. I buried my face in my hands. _"How in the world can I fix this?"_

I slowly picked myself off the ground, brushing off my knees. "Katara, are you all right?" Bumi asked uneasily. I think he knew the answer already.

I sighed and turned to him. "No." I looked away. "I'm going to go figure out how to fix this. I have to go." I slowly walked out of the room.

I made my way back home and saw a servant leaving as I was walking in. "May I ask what you are doing here?"

"Ambassador Katara! I was just picking up some clothes for General Bei Fong, dropping off groceries, and doing some cleaning."

"Now, why would you be cleaning and bringing groceries?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"The General told me to do so." He bowed politely. "I beg pardon, Ambassador, but I have to get back to the palace before dark. Good day." He bowed again and left.

I stared after him. "Toph you have to still care, or you wouldn't have done this," I whispered. "I'm going to get you back. I need you…not only for myself, but for our baby, because the gods know I can't raise it by myself."


	7. Chapter 7

The ground was shaking and rumbling for miles, as though earthquakes were tearing the earth apart. I was earthbending. My movements were different; they were more flowing than those of other earthbenders. King Bumi watch intently. He looked curious.

"Toph, stop and come talk to me," Bumi said, forming a seat for me to sit on. I paused, then obeyed. "How did you come up with that style of earthbending?"

My face fell into a frown. I sighed, scratching my head. Katara's face had instantly come to my mind. "It's really a melding of two different techniques. I combined power earthbending with the flowing style of waterbending. When Katara and I used to spar together, I'd sometimes play with her waterbending technique while earthbending. It works better for defense. Also, it's another thing that I can do that other benders can't. I'm trying to master different stuff so I can always have a new trick to pull out when I need one."

_I can't seem to get her out of my mind. It's driving me crazy because I shouldn't even be thinking about her! I have to go to the Fire Nation at the end of this week, and I don't know if I can do it. The gods only know how much I wanted to go to the Fire Nation a long time ago and crush Azula with my bare hands. I'd even do it now, if the war hadn't ended three years ago._ _She took her and she had her! In my own house, in my own bed, my lover was lying there panting...gods, she was even moaning her name, with no remorse at all. Sweetness did warn me, though. I guess my being an earthbender really did give me a hard head._

_I guess I should ask for Bumi's advice._ "Bumi, I know we have our annual meeting with the world in the Fire Nation. But I don't know if I can make it."

"Toph, when you become the ruler of the Earth Kingdom, you're going to have to separate your own personal battles from the battles of the nations with each other. When you see Azula in the Fire Nation, you're going to have to know that anything that you do will affect our kingdom." He looked at me. "Maybe you should talk to Katara before you leave. Just…think about it." Bumi paused, then motioned for me to get up so we could go back to the palace.

I packed my bags for the Fire Nation and headed to my house before I left. I stood outside for a while, wondering what I could possibly say, or what Katara could say to me. I hadn't talked to her for a long time. It had been over two weeks since she had come to the palace. She'd still been coming by, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to her yet.

I walked into my house and couldn't feel Katara. I hesitantly walked into our room, and I felt her on the bed, asleep. I knelt down to see how she looked; I put my hands gently on her face, and she was still as beautiful as ever. _I want to forgive but I can't yet. There are just too many things I have to work out before I can let it go._

I felt her eyes flutter open and heard her voice, thick with sleep, a moment later. "Toph, is…is that really you?" She reached for my face to touch me. "I can't believe you're here."

I felt tears on my hands; I wiped them from her eyes. "Katara, don't cry. I just came to see you before I go to the Fire Nation." I pulled her face up so she had to look at me. "Katara, I've got a lot of feelings that don't make sense, and I'm just trying to get them straight. I just wanted to see what Azula had that I didn't - what made you turn to her."

She shook her head and looked down, starting to cry harder. "Katara, just tell me. I have to know so I won't be constantly thinking about beating the hell out of her during our meetings." I took her chin between my fingers and raised her head again.

"Toph I…I didn't mean for it happen. It just did! I felt like you…well, I felt like we were drifting apart. So I looked for someone to fill that hole that I felt between us…no, really the hole in _me_, because I thought you didn't love me and it hurt so much." She stopped. "You keep a lot inside and you don't even try to open up to me, Toph! It just hurt that you didn't trust me. Then Azula came along. She wanted me. She wanted me bad, and it felt so good to be wanted that I let her have me." She sighed, taking my calloused hands in hers, rubbing them. "I regretted it so much afterwards, though, knowing that I hurt you. I know it may not seem like it, but I did. The…the night that you came back was supposed to be the last night she and I would be together like that. I'm so sorry you saw it - I really am. If," faltering, "if you don't want to work it out, I understand, Toph. I really do. But please, just give me another chance!"

I sighed and laced our fingers together. I stayed silent for a few minutes, just thinking on what I should do. _I still need more time to think. I don't want to rush anything. _"Katara, I need more time right now to think. Just give me time. I'll come back after my trip." I let go of her hands and stood up.

"Toph, I have to tell you something. It's important," she said quietly.

I sighed and scratched my head. "Tara, how about you tell me when I get back. I have to catch my ship right now."

I drew her up from the bed and had her walk me to the door. Then I slowly pulled her into a hug. It felt so warm; I had missed that. "I'll have the servants come over to bring food and clean the place up again. I'll see you when I get back from Fire Nation."

She held onto me tighter, not wanting to let me go. "Toph, I'll miss you. And…thank you."

"I have to go, Katara." I reluctantly pulled away. I didn't look back; I couldn't. I headed towards the docking station.

The ship was already sailing for the Fire Nation when I sensed Bumi behind me. "How'd the talk with Katara go?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

Leaning against the rail, I let the wind blow in my face. "I guess it went as good as t could have been. I feel a little better. I think some of the anger and hatred are going away. She's hurting, just like me. I think I just want to end all of this and move on."

"Hmm. I think you just might be learning something, Toph."

I wasn't so sure. And wouldn't you know it? When we finally landed in the Fire Nation, the first thing I saw as I disembarked was Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Queen Mai, and someone else, smirking at me; it was none other than Azula.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up to a kiss on my cheek and a light voice in my ears. "Baby, its time to wake up. Remember? Zuko said that you guys have to meet the earthbenders at the dock in an hour." I rolled over on top of Ty Lee. Leaning down, I took her lips with mine and slid my tongue into her mouth. She moaned, grabbing the back of my neck. The past few weeks with Ty Lee had been really confusing, even though I had tried not to show it. That waterbender still floated through my mind - but now, Ty Lee was there, too.I didn't know how to solve these problems except by running away! Instead of running, though, I'd been trying to actually be a girlfriend to her and take her places. I'd even been nice to her - that sort of thing. I thought it might be working. She'd been smiling lately, anyway, which had been making me smile, too. I guessed I was getting somewhere.

I wondered how that overgrown earthbender, Toph, was going to act when she saw me. She knew I'd been with her waterbender, after all. _I'd like to talk to Katara again so I can get my head clear, but I doubt Toph would ever let that happen! – That is, if they are even back together._ _But I can think about that later. Right now I have Ty Lee under me. She's begging for me like the good girl she is, just waiting for me fill her up._ I made my way down her body with my tongue, not missing a spot, and got down to business.

So I eventually got dressed and groomed, and I soon found myself standing here on the dock looking at King Bumi and Toph. My nasty side was uppermost, so I couldn't help but smirk at Toph, knowing she wanted to start a fight with me the moment she saw me. _I'd love to give it to her, too! But I can't, because we all know pussyfoot Zuko would have a damn bitch fit about it. I can hear him now._ "_The world needs to stay at peace, lovey dovey yada yada blah blah blah blah blahhhhh."_

They finally reached us; they'd sure taken their sweet time. King Bumi was the first to speak. "Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Queen Mai, and General Azula - a pleasure meeting with you again. I know you all know my General Toph Bei Fong." He and Toph bowed to us.

"It's good to see you again, Fire Lord Zuko, Fire Queen Mai, and General Azula," she said calmly. "Well, not really _see,_ but you know what I mean."

We all bowed back, as Zuko has to be all lovely dovely friendly with everyone. "Bumi and Toph, there is no need for the formalities. We are all friends here. It's a honor to have you in the Fire Nation again! Let's go have a feast. The meeting can wait until tomorrow."

The earthbenders nodded and walked with us back to the palace. The dining hall was ready, and we sat down to eat. They were all having these boring-ass convos that I didn't want to jump in (or even listen to), until I heard _her _name. "So Toph, how's Katara doing? It's very surprising that you didn't bring her with you," Zuko said.

_Need I remind you that Ty Lee is sitting next to me?_ I looked out the corner of my eye and saw her face fall for a split second. I looked at Toph's face, and saw her usual calm breaking into a frown - but she quickly fixed it. "She's fine. I haven't seen her too much lately. I've been training a lot with Bumi, and she hasn't been feeling well, so she decided to forego this trip."

_Hmmmm. That dirt-loving girl thinks she's fooling them, but not me. I know she and Katara aren't speaking._ I let out a laugh, and everyone at the table turned to look at me like I'd done something wrong. Then I felt the ground moving – well, shaking really. I saw Bumi whisper something to Toph, and it stopped.

Zuko looked at me, scowling as if I was five years old. "Azula, was there something you wanted to share with us that we don't know?" _That boy is always trying to undermine me, I tell you._

"I was wondering why Toph was training so much, as if another war were coming," I said sweetly.

Toph looked my way, smiling dangerously. "General, you never know what could happen. Can't all just sit on our asses and be hit unexpectedly, can we? The world isn't going to be at peace forever." I scoffed at her and just ate my food.

When I made my way back to room, Zuko stopped me, as usual. "Zula, must you always act out? Can't you be civil?" _He's back to his whining routine again. Damn, can't he ever shut up?_

"We didn't fight, so I don't see why you must continue to complain," I said coldly.

_Of course he always has to have to the last word every day of his life._ "Make sure it stays that way, Azula. I mean it! Don't fight or provoke her. The Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation are on good terms right now. Don't mess it up or you will regret it. She's a lot stronger than you think."

_Who the fuck does he think he is, treating me like that? I'm Azula! I think people tend to forget that._ I was almost back to my room when I saw Ty Lee and Toph out in the garden talking. _What the hell could they be talking about? Just wait till Ty Lee comes back to our room!_ I waited impatiently for over an hour, pacing and fuming. _Can you believe she's still out there? It's been over an hour. She, of all people, is making me wait. She has me pacing around the room!_ _They better not have done anything…no, Ty Lee wouldn't do that to me. How would I know, though? I've done so many things like that to her, and she acts so innocent about everything too._

Ty Lee finally came through the door, smiling at me like nothing was wrong. "Where might have you been?" I asked. She came over to hug me, but I took a step back. She still smiled. _This girl infuriates me to no end!_

"I was talking to Toph in the garden. I told a servant to tell you. I'm sorry I came in late. I can make it up to you. Want me to give you a back rub? I know the army has been stressing you out, lately. Just lie down and let me make you feel better."

_This girl just tries to make everything seem all right when she was just out there talking to that rock-slinging buffoon!_ I lay down anyway. "So why did that talk take you so long, anyway? What was so important?" _Damn, this girl is good her hands._

"Toph just asked me a couple of things. Nothing important."

I growled and turned over to face her. She leaned down to kiss my neck. "Stop that and answer me right now! Don't try to take my mind off of this."

Ty Lee giggled like this was funny. "Zula, I told Toph I wouldn't tell anyone until tomorrow. I promise it's nothing bad. C'mon, let's get some sleep. Or, rather - I do owe you from earlier."

She didn't give me enough time to protest; she kissed my hipbone. "Ty Lee, I'm not – aw, fuuuuuuck…" Let's just say my night ended very well.

I woke up early as hell, though, and that made me grouchy. We were supposed to have another "important meeting." I walked out of my room with Ty Lee, and we were greeted by Mai. "Ty Lee, Azula. Good to see you both again. Can you walk with me to the conference room, Azula? I need to have a talk with you." _See, now Zuko sends the wife to do the talking! I don't know how I live with them._ We walked down the hall together.

"What is it that you need to talk to me about?" I said finally, looking at her and waiting for an answer.

Mai looked at me, obviously searching for the right words. "I just want to warn you that you might hear some things in the meeting that you don't want to hear. I just don't want you to overreact because I'm tired of Zuko complaining about you lately. So I ask you as one of my oldest and closest friends to just try – please, for me." I sighed and nodded my head, since she had asked so nicely.

We walked into the meeting and took our seats. I sat in between Zuko and Ty Lee. We look up to King Bumi as he cleared his throat to get our attention. "I'm glad that all of you could make it today. I am stepping down from the kingship of the Earth Kingdom in less than two years. I have chosen a new leader that I feel will rule my country and help keep balance within the world. I chose someone who is level headed, strong, an outstanding solider, and one of my most trusted people. The person I have chosen as my successor is General Toph Bei Fong." Everyone gave Toph a round of applause as she rose to her feet.

_How the hell did this happen? She's going to rule the damn Earth Kingdom? _I was speechless, and I didn't know what to do. _This is ridiculous. And when I'm never going to get a throne in my life -! I can't stand that giant._

Everyone quieted down so Toph could speak. "Thank you, everyone. It's a great honor for me to be King Bumi's successor. I promise to keep the peace between the nations. I think to let it all go down the drain would be disrespectful to the people who fought so hard for peace during the war. I know there won't always be peace, but I know that we can try our hardest to keep it. We owe it to the children of the future to show them how the world should be." _She thinks she is just a goody goody, but I can see right through that little act she just put on._

Zuko stood. _Geez, now here comes King Pussyfoot to speak._ "I think that you will make a great ruler, Toph. You have the qualities to run a great nation and I know that with rulers like you we can hold the peace. You will always be welcomed to our nation with open arms as a ruler – and, more importantly, as our friend. This meeting is adjourned. High council, please stay seated." Oh, great. _I get to sit longer in this damn meeting while they sit and talk about meaningless things._

As soon as everyone but the high council had left the room, Toph stood up to speak again. "As I have already told Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee, I have been learning to meld the other three kinds of bending with my earthbending. I don't think that we should limit ourselves to only one element. We should branch out to learn new fighting techniques. I'm think we should always be prepared for the worst - which is why I propose to you, Zuko, that your sergeant Ty Lee should come to the Earth Kingdom to teach my soldiers hand-to-hand combat. In return, I will send over my best formation strategist to instruct your fighters."

_Did she just say that Ty Lee was to go to the Earth Kingdom? Hell no, hell no, HELL NO! She's just doing this to get back at me._ I glowered at Zuko, but he just smiled at her. "Toph, I think that's a great idea!" _What the hell is Zuko thinking?_

I was furious. "Hell no! That idea is stupid. You're just doing this to get back at me for Katara," I sneered at her.

"Azula." _Super. Here goes Zuko again._

"No, Zuko. It's all right. I can see where she's coming from." Toph shook her head. "Azula, I keep my personal life out of my life of politics. I wouldn't do that out of spite. That wouldn't get either of us anywhere. This all is strictly to keep both of our nations at their best. I need another style of fighting and Ty Lee's is perfect, since I already have Katara for the waterbending style." I looked around at the table, and then at Ty Lee.

"Whatever," I snarled. "I don't believe it. But what do you have to say about it Ty Lee?" She looked at Zuko then Toph then last me. _Don't tell me she already agreed! She did, didn't she? I can tell. _I got up out of my chair in a rage and walked out of the room.

I heard running footsteps later. "Azula wait, you didn't even let me explain!"

Ty Lee had found me. I turned around and glared at her. "There isn't shit to say. You took the first chance you got to leave, just like I knew you would. Why couldn't you wait? I'm trying to change, can't you see that? I'm really trying, and you go and leave me!"

She smiled and took my hand as if this were a good moment. "Zula, I'm not leaving you. Why would you even think that? And I never asked you to change. There's always been a really beautiful side to you. I love both sides of you. I love you. Don't ever forget that." She leaned in and kissed me, then pulled back. "Silly! If you would have stayed, you would have found that I'm not even going to Earth Kingdom for another year or so. Even then, I'm only staying for about two weeks! You know I can't go without you for long." She paused and looked at me. "Toph doesn't resent you as much as you think. Maybe you two should talk before she leaves."

_Now she's made me feel stupid for overreacting. But you would overreact if you were me, too! I really need to get my personalities in check, but it's hard. I don't know how to stay the same person._

_I guess I should try to talk to Toph before they leave tomorrow._


	9. Chapter 9

_It's raining today, and it's ruining all the plans I set up for when Toph gets back today. I was going to make her a nice relaxing picnic with no worries about training or anything else. I have to think of something now. She told me she would come over - well, I hope she still comes by. I just really miss her and I need her! I'm almost six weeks pregnant. I don't want to do this alone because it's her baby, too. Yue told me so, and she wouldn't lie to me._

I walked around the house thinking aobutwhat I could for Toph when she got back. I was a nervous wreck, but I thought I finally had the perfect idea. I really wanted to do something special - but then, she'd always told me she just liked the simple things. I had a couple of hours to get the house prepared for when she came. I could feel myself getting excited.

The house was already mostly clean because of the servants she'd been sending over, but I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for her. After I was done running around the house I took a hot bath. It felt so relaxing lying there, but I knew I couldn't stay because I still had lots to do. I got out and went to put on my best robes. They were a dark blue, lined with white silk. I put my hair up in a bun, letting a few strands fall over my face.

This done, I made my way to the kitchen to get dinner started. I was making steak and lobster - Toph's favorite. I pulled out the food and started to prepare it. As it cooked, I went to set up our table. I put two candles out and lit them, then proceeded to fill the rest of the house with candles. When the food was finally done, I set it down on the table and stepped back to survey the scene with satisfaction. _I think this night will go great_.

I went to wait for my earthbender outside, knowing she would be back any minute. She didn't come. _I guess they must have been held up because she was supposed to be here over an hour ago._ I began to worry. _What if she doesn't want to come? Maybe she just went back to the palace - maybe she just doesn't want to work it out._ I sat down on the bench. It was beginning to rain, but I didn't care. I buried my face in my hands – tears began to trickle down my cheeks. "Sugar Queen, what are you crying for?" The voice startled me - I hadn't even heard anyone walk up. I looked up to see Toph kneeling on one knee.

She wiped the tears from my eyes. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me. She giggled into my neck. "Well, that wasn't what I expected when I got here, Tara. Thanks, though. Now, mind telling me why you were crying?"

I nodded as I dried the rest of my tears, "I… I thought that you didn't want to see me because you didn't show up. But now I'm really happy - you're here." I smiled.

Then I realized it was still raining. I didn't want her to get sick. "Toph, we have to get inside. I don't want you catching a cold." I stood up and grabbed her hand but she pulled me back. She just stood there looking at me for a moment, and then she smiled. "Katara, did I ever tell you that I can see everything when it's raining?" I nodded, staring at her. She took my head in her hands. Then she started to caress my face with her calloused fingers, and I leaned into her touch.

It started to rain a bit harder; I could feel the big drops spattering on my face as they fell. Toph tilted my face upward, staring even harder. "Katara, you're so beautiful. Don't ever let anyone every tell you different." Then, finally, she pulled me inside the house with her.

When we got inside I bended all the water out of our clothes as Toph took in everything I'd set up. She sat down in her chair across the table. "Princess, you didn't have to do all of this for me. You know I like simple stuff," she said, taking my hand and rubbing it with her thumb.

I smiled at her, enjoying the feel of her hand around mine. "I wanted to do something special for you, Toph. You deserve it. I even made your favorite!" I paused. "How was your trip, though?"

She was already eating. Well, not really eating – more like devouring. She stopped for a second to answer me. "It was good. The other nations know now that I'm going to take over for Bumi. I also got a chance to talk to Ty Lee about my new training ideas. - And I talked to Azula before I left."

I looked at her, trying to imagine her conversation with Ty Lee - or Azula. I could barely find the words. "Um...if you don't mind, Toph...what did you talk to them about?"

I studied her face as she answered, but found neither anger nor pain. It was like her mind was totally clear. "Well, Ty Lee and I had two different conversions, one about her coming to teach my army combat forms, and the other about herself. I wanted to know why she chose to stay with Azula after all the times she's cheated on her because I couldn't understand it. But Ty Lee told me that Azula has been through a lot in her life. Those things made her the way she is, and she is slowly changing. Most of all, Ty Lee said that she loved both sides of Azula - not just the good. She kind of gave me a different perspective." She paused. "Now, the conversation with Azula was totally different," she said slowly. "I asked her why she always cheats on Ty Lee, a girl who gives her everything. She acted arrogant, like I figured she would, but I saw right through her. She was scared. She was scared to be loved, and even more scared to love someone else. She tried to make me mad by telling me about you and her. It hurt to hear it, but I needed to - I have to get past that if I ever want us to work this out. So I listened to her. And I slowly figured out that it was my fault that you turned to her." Toph's voice was soft. "I'm sorry, Katara, I really am. I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't love you. I do love you, so much! Don't ever forget that."

I shook my head at her, taking her hands into mine. "No, Toph. Don't blame yourself for my mistakes! It's my fault."

But she silenced me by putting her finger on my lips. "I'm not saying you're not at fault. I'm just saying it was my fault, too. I'm just really scared, Katara. Everything I've ever loved except for fighting has been taken from me. I don't want to lose you. I want to get back with you! We have to go slow, because I still have some things I need to sort out. But I want to be on the same page as you. I want to know that if you're having problems you'll talk to me and make me listen, not run to someone else. Can you do that for me? Because I miss you so bad that I don't want to go another day without you."

Tears were streaming down my face. I had been waiting for so long for Toph to take me back! I nodded my head as she wiped the tears from my cheeks. Then she took my face in her hands again. I had missed her touch so much! Just the feeling of her smooth-rough hands against my face gave me a sense of protection.

She pulled me up out of my chair and wrapped her arms around my waist. She towered over me. (I still don't really know how that happened! She just came back one summer looking over my head instead of at my chest.) I sighed into her warmth as I wrapped my arms around her neck. Then I felt a kiss on my temple, then my cheek. Her fingertips slipped under my chin to lift my head up. We stayed like that for some moments, just staring into each other's souls. Then I stood on my tiptoes and took her lips, the soft, gentle, sweet lips I had missed so much.

I kissed those lips over and over, then finally whispered against them. "Toph….I love you. I love you so much."

She leaned her forward so that our foreheads touched and brushed her nose against mine. My earthbender kissed me again and grinned. "Princess, I love you too."


End file.
